About the pages and content imported from: Sanity, Gone … F.U.B.A.R.
This is a textual journal which is really for my own therapeutic needs as I struggle with the mental and physical health issues that plague me and try to hold onto the grasps of sanity. It’s not a stretch or play on words here, as my view of the world, my life and myself transforms around me as the Pandora’s box that was opened during therapy continues to spew forth thoughts, feelings and memories that I must combat, accept and deal with.
I neither decided to create a public version of my journal or random mutterings for the purposes of some form of fame nor glory, so I don’t truly believe that many people will visit this site. Hell, it is hardly entertaining!
This site is for me to drop my carthasis, keep my random journal, explore my thoughts and my new emotions and to try and rebuild whoever it is that I am.
Addendum: It’s been two years. My sessions with my Psychologist are finishing. My sense of the world is never going to be the same, I know that. I will never be off the drugs and I will never be “over” my depression. But I have more tools now. I have better ways of coping. I have people who are understanding. If nothing else, I have the means to return to the sources of therapy that I have utilised and can help me again.
I am aware that I am, to be frank, shit at talking to people. I find it difficult to verbalise a lot of things which is why this site came about, as a way to practive externalising my feelings and thoughts to allow some self-analysis.
I have delusions of being a mental first aider, but the reality is that as much as I want to help, the best I can do is be a sounding board, a shoulder and an ear, because I don’t have the answers, I don’t have the right words, but I do have a lot of time and affection to share for those that need it.
I can only hope that what I have on this site can in some small way help you. Whether it’s to realise that you are not alone in your own version of the hell that is chronic depression and anxiety, or whether its because it helps you understand those around you that are going through the same sort of experiences.
I can be contacted at anytime if you need that ear.