Thu 13.11.08

Annoyed by a mate rubbing me up about fear in relation to not getting onto the motorbike after I cam off and injured myself. I know he was trying to egg me on and get me to overcome and ride again, but all I felt was anger at not being supported and being ridiculed.

I saw myself in the mirror in the lift. I caught myself being judgemental about the way I looked – like a fat beachball with legs.

I started feeling down about that and then reconciled myself that I always had a “fat” self image.

Then I remembered the disappointment conversation with my shrinkologist which triggered a thought stream.

Is it possible that I overlap a fat image onto myself to avoid dissapointment?

If I allow myself to see myself as thin, built and attractive – and then Im not, or worse, I become thin,built and attractive – but people still think I am unattractive, would I feel worse?

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