[Text that came with eMail:]
- Dear school: Pleas exkuse John for being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33.
- Chris have an acre in his side.
- Mary could not come to school because she was bother by very close veins.
- John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
- I kape Billie home because she had to Christmas shopping because I didn’t no what size she wear.
- John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
- Please excuse Gloria, She been sick and under the doctor.
- My son is under the doctor’s care and could not take fizacal ed. Please execute him.
- Lillie was absent from school yesterday as she had a gang over.
- Please excuse Blanch from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, she fell out of a tree and misplaced her hip.
- Please excuse Joyce from jim today. She is administrating.
- Please excuse Joey Friday, he had loose vowels.
- Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football, he was hurt in the growing part.
- My daughter wouldn’t come to school Monday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with some Marines.
- Please excuse Sandra from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps [cramps].
- Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour trout [sore throat].
- Please excuse Wayne for being out yesterday because he had the fuel.
- Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father’s fault.
- Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.
- Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
- Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.
- Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had penis trouble and had to be serpent sized.
- The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated.
- Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had
diah diahoah dyahthe shits.