- Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
- Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
- It’s tacky to take an esky to church.
- If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.
- Even if you’re certain you’re included in the will, it’s rude
to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
- When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so
as not to bruise the wine.
- If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
- A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
- Don’t allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
- While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private,
using one’s OWN ute keys.
- Even if you live alone, deodorant isn’t a waste of money.
- Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
- Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of
finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your
- Always offer to bait your date’s hook – especially on the first date.
- Be assertive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been wanting to go
out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago.”
- Establish with her parents what time she’s expected back. Some will
say 11:00 PM, others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it’s
the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.
- Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie
- Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have
proven they can’t hear you.
- Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
- Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your
popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)
- For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and
a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
- Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for the occasion.
- Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun’s loaded
and the roo’s in your rifle sight.
- When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn’t
always have the right of way.
- Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
- When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it’s impolite to
ask her to bring back beer too.