Maybe I’m a lesbian in a man’s body? It would make sense … I like comfortable shoes (yes, I own a pair of hush-puppies), I can be rather aggressive about my points of view, I like women, I do the growl with absolute perfection … and I think all men are pigs!
Even as a male … I am disgusted by the state of other men. One of the most disgusting things you’ll ever have to accomplish in your life is to enter a men’s public toilet and try to do your business! I mean, the smell alone is enough to clog your pipes!
Even if you can brave that distinctive aroma, then you need to be able to traverse the floor Indiana Jones style to avoid stepping in the copious pools of urine. This is where it becomes interesting …
If you need to check the pipes, then you head to and reach the urinals at which point, especially during peak hours, you need to be as fast as the Flash to simultaneously drain your lizard and avoid getting sprayed or directly urinated on by the friendly chaps on either side of you who feel that a urinal is a communal chat board!
Then, if you need to give birth to a middle-manager, life reaches a whole new level in the game. So, you’ve swung Indiana style across the floor, and reached an available cubicle … it’s now time for the mystery of the cubicle! Think Monty’s doors held surprises? Na-ah! Let’s see what we have today?
Can you guess how disgusted you can be?
Will the bowl be filled with the last occupants proud work, unflushed and on display?
Perhaps they also felt the cubicle was dirty and thus decided to wash it down … with their urine?
Maybe they decided the walls need a makeover and decorated it with all sorts of … artifacts?
Or maybe the previous occupant was hit with a sudden and uncontrollable epileptic fit, which is why their waste products are on the seat, on the floor, in fact everywhere, but the bowl!
Seriously, ladies, this is something you probably will never go through … unless you enter the domain of the expulsion challenged that is a male public toilet!
Now you know why Xanax is my friend …