Truthful “All of the stress” Tuesday

I am on the verge of just blowing up. 

  • Work is flat chat, add to that a demoralising atmosphere brought about by redundancies, continued threats of more redundancies, massive cost cutting exercises, and a removal of many of the previous flexibilities around work hours, leave and balance … well, at least I still have a job and still paying the mortgages.
  • Not having a 4WD/offroad vehicle is really hampering the amount of work I can do on the property. I am limited to the weather and what I can carry/drag. So even things that should be simple to achieve are now becoming logistical nightmares. Even trying to get a semi-decent “cheap” off-roader with a few-hundred-thousand clicks on the clock is a game of chance and speed.
  • The Farm project is not going as planned – a herd of Eastern Gray Wallabies went through and ate all of the plants I had put in last week. I expected to lose one or two, but not all of them. They just went through like a bus full of starving kids at a sizzlers.
  • Add to the farm project the fact that I now need to upgrade the fence-lines to try and dissuade the kangaroos. This involves at least an additional $2,000 across the property.
  • Which of course highlights that we are asset rich and cash flow poor at the moment. We can’t sell the house because we’d only get the mortgage value for it and the farm is not yet able to be claimed for primary production nor as a rural household since we have not reached the production levels required and we have not yet been able to start the building project.
  • The building project (by which I mean the paperwork to go to tender) is at least 6 months away from being able to be re-started – mostly due to the cashflow problem
  • Everyone has 2c worth of opinions to throw in. It comes in two flavours. Most of it in the form of  brilliant hindsight consulting “you know what you should have done …!?” or in the form of presumed wealth “You should have bought [item of grand larceny value] …” both of which, can I tell you, gets real old real quick. It would be nice if people had solutions to help, or ways to go forward otherwise you’re just aggravating me.
  • I am constantly torn between having to make a choice of spending the right amount of money for the long term or for right now. In the first instant, I am constantly trying to rub two coins together to scratch up enough to afford it, in the latter I know that I’ll have to spend the money again in the not too distant future if I skimp now, but at least I can afford it now. I hate that both of those feelings.
  • Ingrid’s 40th is coming up in December. I was hoping to throw her a 4.0 party. I doubt I can do much more than bake her a cake and make dinner at this stage. That upsets me more than the rest of this put together.
  • I know it will get better, I just don’t feel it right now.
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